Do Flyers Fans Shower?
Ok kids; let’s look back fondly on that time a Flyers fan (at band camp) somehow beyond all probability in the known universe “fell” into the penalty box with Tie Domi, yes that Tie Domi. I guess I really didn’t need to tell you it involved the Philadelphia Flyers. I could have just said “a fan falls into penalty box trying to fight other team’s enforcer” and you would have figured out the city by the time I said, “a fan”, wouldn’t you?
OK, so Domi causes the whole situation by squirting the front row with his water bottle after a few words of good natured trash talking about mothers. That’s a clear violation of the one absolute, set-in-stone rule in all of professional sports: At no point, under any circumstances, should any Flyer fan be expected to enjoy a shower, golden or otherwise (I know, I know, I am supposed to keep this article G-rated. G for gangsta).
There’s linesman Kevin Collins immediately leaping into the fray like a boss, because of course it is. Virtually every strange hockey moment will include a wild-eyed Kevin Collins either taking hay makers or giving them. In all seriousness, I’ve always felt like Domi didn’t get enough credit for how he handled this once it escalated. And in the words of the immortal Ron Burgandy, “Boy, that escalated quickly… I mean, that really got out of hand fast. Brick, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. You should find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you’re probably wanted for murder, and tell Tie Domi I said hi.”
Any hockey fan who first heard the words “someone just fell into the penalty box with Tie Domi” probably assumed the Leafs enforcer had pummeled the poor guy, ate his liver with a nice cold Molson (that stuff is pure Canadian moonshine), put his head on a spike and left it as a warning to others. Instead, he barely even works him over. OK I lied; he works him over a little bit, but only in the best way possible. And for those thinking well sure, it’s not like a player would ever really beat up a fan, let’s ask the guy who decided to wander a little too close to Rob Ray (Never, ever, ever get too close to Rob Ray, he doesn’t even have his shots yet).
The real victim in all of this is the guy in the disturbingly tight Flyers jersey in the first row. One minute he’s engaging in some harmless trash talk that probably includes description of wall paper and trips to bed bath and beyond, the next he has some other dude’s crotch mashed into the back of his head. On second thought, he’s from Philly so this could be a regular Tuesday night for him. In the video he looks completely traumatized for the rest of the incident. He might still be in therapy. Meanwhile, the guy in the blue shirt next to him could not be less fazed by any of this. I don’t think he even spills a drop of his beer, he must be from Wisconsin.
The Maple Leafs scored the game-winning goal 30 seconds after this incident happened, by the way. Remember that the next time the stats geeks try to tell you that winning a fight never inspired a team to victory.
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